For Your Own Good
by ThereAreNoPerks
Summary: He knows I hate him with all my being. He knows I want to leave Abnegation. He knows I'll do anything to leave. And for that, he wants to punish me. But he can't punish me when I'm gone, and it's the only thing I have left to have the strength to carry on.


The moment I hear footsteps coming from the stairs, echoing through the halls like army-soldiers marching forth, cold goose bumps cover my entire body. Over the days and the months and the years, I've grown too used with the way his feet stomp and the way the entire earth seems to rumble when he trudges to me; I've grown too used to the way my heart races in my chest when I hear his raspy, worn voice tell me, "This is for your own good," and the bruises on my body. There's too many for me to count, now.  
I'm sure he always thanks God for the long sleeved clothes and baggy pants Abnegation members wear, or he'd be just like me if anyone knew the truth; as good as a dead man.  
_Who the hell am I kidding? Even without anyone knowing, I'm still as good as a dead man. _  
A familiar lump forms in my throat, and secretly, I hope it chokes me before he gets to my room. I know that wont happen, he will get to my room no matter if the door is closed or not. There is no lock on my door. Marcus said that I would be going against Abnegation's reputation of selflessness for having a lock on my door, when I asked earlier about it, today.  
Marcus is my father, but the word "dad" doesn't look right on him, anymore.  
I watch the silver-grey doorknob begin to wiggle, and I clench my fist. I fix my knees and strain them, so they don't wobble and I don't fall to the floor.  
The door opens as suddenly as my breathing stops, stuck in my lungs like an expanded balloon. Marcus's dark, angry eyes stare at me like I'm ruined property, not his son. Because in his eyes, I'm not his son, I'm a disgrace to the Eaton name.  
Everything he does, everything to hurt me physically and mentally, is _for my own good._ Or so he tells me.

"Tobias,"

He says with a growl and a rasp edged in his voice. Marcus lets a sight ease its way out of his mouth.

"Tobias, you're sixteen, how can I expect you to act like a man when you're shaking?"

I gulp.

"I-I-"  
"Never mind that,"

A scowl slides onto his face, but with his eyebrows naturally low and thick, it doesn't look like he's done much to change his facial expression, except frown heavier.

"Today is the choosing ceremony, you know that, don't you?"

Marcus says, crossing his arms with the same look of disgust on his face. It is almost like he is reading my mind, and knows that I want to leave. He knows that today will be the day I leave.  
And he's going to punish me for it.  
I can't seem to force myself to look at him in the eyes. My glance lowers until I'm staring at my plain, grey shoes that are too tight for me. I have become too scared to ask for new shoes. Asking for something new for myself would be too selfish of me.  
I can't see him scowling, but I can feel his stare burn into my flesh.

"It's rude not to look at someone in the eyes while they're speaking, Tobias! Speak up! I asked you a question."

A question that doesn't need answering. He already knows the answer. My head jeers up, with wide eyes as dark as his are, and I nod. My lips press together. I can feel my nails dig into my palms while I keep my fists clenched, but If I let them loose, I will shake. I gulp.

"Y-yes."

Marcus's eyes narrow.

"Aren't you forgetting something, _sir?_"  
"I meant yes sir"

He silences me by calling out my name, probably loud enough so the entire street of identically dressed families can hear. They wont suspect anything, though. Not of Abnegation's faction leader. That would be questioning his authority, and no one is brave enough to do that. Abnegation isn't made for bravery, that's Dauntless's job.  
_I just wish, for once, one Abnegation member would take a Dauntless's job and help me. _

"You've said enough, Tobias,"

Just by the tone in his voice, and the anger and frustration behind it, I know what's coming up. I know by the way he loops his belt from the hooks on his baggy grey pants, and by the way he positions it in the air, just above his head, what's coming at me.  
And I swear at that moment, his eyes were red like Hell.

"Your selfishness is getting out of hand, and your defiance is a disgrace to the Eaton name."

My hands tremble, even while they're still in fists, and I back up until I fall in my closet. Large piles of grey fabric and boxes of clothes fall on my head, until I'm covered in clothes. Marcus pushes the extra boxes and clothes aside. Tears swell in my eyes until I cannot see anything except a figure of a tall, muscular man with a thick grey belt in the air. My heart beats so hard in my chest that it hurts to breathe. I can feel the heat on my face burn my flesh, and the poundings of my heart make every part of my body ache.

"P-please!"

I beg. I can feel tears stream down my face like a waterfall. "P-please don't do t-this!"  
But Marcus just stares at me with those cold eyes that fill my body with anticipation and fear.

"This is for your own good."


End file.
